It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
