he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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