he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
