Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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