I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
