I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
