your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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