i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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