the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
