Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
PANTIES FOUND
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