You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
