If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just had sex on a roof
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize