I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sponge bath it is.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
