too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
50% drunk capacity currently
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
