Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst