So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.