sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Everything about him screamed your future.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
