Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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