I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
