She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
