normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
