its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize