You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
