he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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