Got a toothbrush?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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