the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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