I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
