I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
