margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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