theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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