I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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