Sry I called you an 8
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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