girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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