I just made out with a guy for $7.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
