I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
