I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
