some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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