my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my shit smells like andre
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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