Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize