I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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