hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
