I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
