I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
