You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
