Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
