actually, I'm a sock model
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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