I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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