Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
