I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
