We're facebook friends in real life
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
