she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
