I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize