Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize