hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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