i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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