overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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