Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
