Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
