His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
