Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
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I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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