He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
